Somberity.

The thing about Serani wakes is that there will never be a shortage of beer. And considering it's also part chinese, there also wasn't a shortage of porridge. Or peanuts. Or coffee. Or roast pork. For me, I just sat in one corner and enjoyed the beer.

It's been a rather different Saturday night I suppose. Work took up most of it, with my short escape with coffee for the pikachu. Learn a new thing everyday is something I've always been saying, and when there's nothing more to learn, only then is your time up on this world. And I honestly enjoying the newfound knowledge everyday that is with and about pikachu.

But then again, it's a whole new learning process. A different issue of understanding. What makes a person tick. Why I'm wanting to know as well. Likes and dislikes. Loves and hates. Wrongs and rights.

I do wonder. If what I'm doing is so wrong, does that make what's happening on the other end of the equation so right? I've always believed in the concept of karma and to some extent to chaos theory. Or that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. We can never remove ourselves from this equation. No matter how hard we try.

So does this justify my actions? That why it feels so right is because what happens on the other side of the fence so wrong? Small things like this can eat at you as you watch the minutes pass ever so slowly through the dead of the night.

And of course, there's the wait. The eternal wait. For something to happen. Or for something to turn around. Being in a communication blackout doesn't help at all, as it only makes the wait drag on. And on. Like halcyon on an acid trip. And the worry eats at your mind. And what's left of your soul.

And then, the phone glows. And suddenly everything is good once again. All good.

And the rain falls again.

Note to self : Don't overindulge in beer at a wake. The mind can be a fragile at times.



You can run away,
Leave your books behind you.
But you should look back twice,
just to be on the safe side.

From my boat I can see your house.
But now the lights are off,
And there is no one home.
You are just like an avalanche,
Cold as I might have guessed.
But at least I'm covered up for now.

Mew - 156.