Mortalities and Moralities.

First of all, my condolences to Barney and his family for the loss of his beloved mother. Death can be a catalyst. It can make one wonder about his or her role or function in life. But when it happens to someone you actually know, it just numbs you. And you question yourself and the things around you more.

The past month or so for me have been harrowing. The accident. My grandmother's heart attack. I can't help but feel guilty at times. For procrastinating. For putting things off till tomorrow. What they say it true though.

There is no tomorrow. There is only today. Tomorrow comes today. Can we handle the regret of putting something off till tomorrow and then have fate take that option away? Of last words, or last actions.

Appreciate what we have now and today. We may not have it anymore tomorrow. Maybe that's what's changed my priorities lately. Our lives entwine and touch in the tapestry of fate, and everyday, that weave will lose a thread or three.

It hasn't been an active change. It's been gradual. I now enjoy the sunrise while driving home along the beach. I welcome the rain with open arms as it comes down to wash away everything. I take the time to make calls to family just to see if they're alright. I've learnt to use the L word again.

As cliched as it sounds, live life as if it's your last day today. Be thankful for what we have and not spiteful for what we want. Even the smallest gesture or the shortest moment could mean everything to someone else, so seize it while we can.

There's more to life than the blingbling, the games, the hate, the status quo. In the end, it's all about yourself. Nothing else.

I'm living fine with myself now. Are you?

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover.