Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Good Morning!

Note to self: Crazy cold mornings = perky nipples. And I ain't talking about mine here. God I love crazy/cold/mornings. :D

Sunday, July 10, 2005


All the subtle flavours of my life
have become bitter seeds
and poisoned leaves
without you

You represent what's true
I drain the colour from the sky
And turn blue
without you

These arms lack a purpose
Flapping like a humming-bird
I'm nervous 'cause
I'm the left eye
you're the right
Would it not be madness to fight

We come one

In you the song which rights my wrongs
In you the fullness of living
The power to begin again
From right now, in you

We come one

I'm unafraid
never never scared
Worries washed
pressed and aired
I am the left eye
you're the right
Would it not be madness to fight

We come one.

Faithless - We Come One.

I have been absent from the blogging scene for many reasons. The main one being work + World of Warcraft. The other would be a lack of inspiration. My life after all, has finally settled into routine. Work, dinner, work, WoW, work, breakfast, bathe, work. Feel free to insert sleep anywhere within that routine. My off days consist of sleep, and the customary movie session of the week. Occasionally I dabble with my car, have numerous attempts at cleaning the apartment, or actually have dinner with a real life female, or not.

Danny though has gotten my mind going again, as our last talk allowed me to reflect on my past these last 5 years. I turn 30 next month. I don't feel it, but I can't ignore it either. Ten years ago, I was planning my life out; to be married by 26 to the love of my life. I was an idealist. I thought I had everything in the books, except for one thing; I wasn't mature enough for life. Needless to say shit happened, with me being the cause of it most of the time. I crashed myself into a downward spiral that would last for years. And I let so many things go by me again during that phase.

I was blinded by my own self pity that I couldn't see love when it came to me. It seems that all the women that mattered in my life went down the same road; they moved on to KL and got married ( or as married as one can get). My regret, if any, was that the partings were never on good terms. My 'all or nothing' mentality fucked up any chance of a friendship, as much as I long for that now. And life moved on without me during those years.

What's the point of letting all this out now? Think of it as an revelation. There is nothing more for me to hide. No mental prison for me to rot in. Redemption is beyond reach.

All I can say is, I'm sorry.