Sunday, April 24, 2005


Karma has once again decided to remind me of her existence. From the most basic reasonings of Cause and Effect, to the anarchic Chaos Theory, karma is simply put, a case of what goes around comes around. The irony of it all indeed.

It's always the little things that matter. Different windows would open and close, all due to timing. For the first time in years, I had a blackout. I guess it's probably due to too many things rolled up into one; pulling 2 12 hr shifts back to back, chain smoking Samporna Fukin As, trying to sooth my really sore throat with Chivas, and not sleeping; just to name a few plausible reasons. Thing is, last time I suffered from blackouts was when I was a realllly heavy drinker. Dammit. Last thing I need these days is a relapse. :P

Anyway, things would have gone so much different if it wasn't for the blackout. How interesting that little details like not bringing the housekeys, or not noticing a miss call, can bring about life altering moments and decisions. Considering that it's 8.30am and I STILL haven't gotten sleep, just stresses the need for me to get this off my mind.

My conscience is killing me, for what may unfold soon. I can't help but feel the slight feeling of fucking up again. Just once though, I'd like a feel good fuck up. Oh well. Wishful thinking indeed. I still feel trapped between my past and limbo. Deja vu sucks.

I wonder if I take you home,
Would you still be in love baby.

Black Eyed Peas - Don't Funk With My Heart.


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